Becoming Me

Hi Love,

It’s currently 8:11 AM, and I’m sitting in my ICT Law class feeling quite annoyed—my lecturer is not here yet. I could still be in bed sleeping, but I promised myself I’d write to you yesterday and didn’t, so I’m doing it now.

A few days ago, my school opened a new portal, and we were required to upload a passport photograph. I didn’t have one on my phone, so I had to take a new picture (basically a headshot). A few years ago, the old Subomi would have hated that idea. But this time, I was genuinely happy to do it. That moment made me realize how far I’ve come and how I’ve refused to give up on myself.

In case you don’t know, I’ve had really bad acne since I was about 8 or 9 years old. It was so bad that I literally couldn’t look at myself in a mirror. I heard so many hurtful things from people—things like, “Did you offend someone and get cursed with this?”, “Try washing your face with an iron sponge”, “Your face is irritating.” One person even said I looked like a monkey. (Funny, right? Yeah… no.)

What’s even “funnier” is that I remember every single person who said these things to me. And yet, here I am—years later, taking a headshot and feeling good about it. My face is clear now, and when I saw that picture, I got emotional. Like, wow… God really came through for me.

I posted something recently on Substack about how I’m getting to know myself, and it’s so true. I’m learning to recognize me, understand me, and describe myself without needing a mirror.

So, if there’s a teenager out there who currently hates herself—my love, it gets better. Don’t let people define your happiness or your beauty. I only wish I wasn’t so insecure back then. I wish I took pictures and documented those moments, because now they’re gone. But that’s okay—those days were a phase, and every phase serves a purpose.

Please, document things. They will one day be part of your testimony

Oh! By the way, I hung out with my friends over the weekend. As usual, I got tired pretty quickly—my social battery runs out in like two to three hours. I think I’ve even gotten better, though. It was nice, but honestly? I think I’ll start going out alone more often. That suits me better.

Also, in case you’re wondering, my lecturer still isn’t in class and yes, I’m still annoyed.

But here’s a little mission I’m on: I’m going to write every week—whether it makes sense or not—because we’re standing on consistency this year.

See you next week

Olasubomi